(Intro sound) Adam: Hey, welcome to The Know, I’m Adam. Bruce: And I’m Bruce. Adam: And welcome back to the show where we treat every story with respect and equality. Bruce: Unlike fucking GOOGLE
that just said its not gonna bring Google Fiber to LOS ANGELES! What a fucking shit company, fuck them. This stupid shit. Adam: That’s not good. Google Alphabet senior vice president and
former Access CEO Craig Barratt announced the news yesterday on the official Google fiber blog. Bruce: Specifically, Barratt writes that Google will “pause our operations and offices while we refine our approaches.” in most of its “potential Fiber cities”. Adam: And just because we want to destroy your dreams, that includes Dallas, Jacksonville, Oklahoma City, Phoenix, Portland, San Jose, Tampa and Los Angeles. Adam: Fuckers.
Adam: Damn it. Bruce: So what the hell’s going on, Lawrence? What’s going on? Lawrence: Apparently Google wants to ruin our dreams of watching all the porno at all the same time. All of it. Bruce: Like all simultaneously?
Lawrence: Yeah, I bought at least 500 monitors. Ready for Google Fibers. Just blluuhh everywhere. Damn it. Unfortunately, like typical company announcements, there’s not much in way of actual information bare expense a couple of paragraphs talking about how amazing Google Fiber is and how its changed landscapes of yadah yadah yadah. (mumbling gibberish) Smashing paradigms,
blah blah blah, whatever. And then some vague verbage about, “making changes to focus our business and product strategy.” And the need to quote, “focus on new technology and deployment methods to make superfast internet
more abundant than it is today.” Which translates to layoffs and cancellations. Bruce: Aw man!
Adam: Yeah, Bloomberg reports than 9% of Google Access staff is on the
chopping block, which translates to 130 jobs out of the total of 1500 employees. Bruce: Wow. So for what its worth, Barratt promises that Google Fiber will be unaffected in cities where the services are already launched or
is actively under construction. So yeah just go ahead and brag about it, Louisville, Kentucky, you assholes. Adam: Man, they’re just grinning
with their toothless grins. Bruce: (in between laughing) Jesus
Adam: (quietly) Bastards. Adam: For real, though. Why is Google scaling back on Fiber deployment? Lawrence? Lawrence: Again, they’re smashing our dreams of downloading every Grateful Dead album while watching all the porn. Bruce: That was your dream? That’s a weird dream. Lawrence: That’s a neat test. So for starters, Bloomberg cites a former Google executive, in claiming that many inside Google disputed the decision to deploy Fiber in major cities in the first place. Google Fiber requires physical construction. So we have to actually tear up roads and sidewalks to lay down fiber optic cable. Doing that in an urban center is much more complicated and expensive than in less populated areas where you just, I dunno. It’s like dirt,
you gotta shove the horse carriage off the side. Just throw the mangers in the
middle of the street, it’s fine. It’s possible that after deploying in several major cities, Google found that the costs of construction didn’t justify the revenues from larger consumer bases in those cities. Bruce: Yeah, makes sense. Adam: Yeah, there’re maybe other layers of corporate strategy involved as well. Jackdaw Research Analyst Jan Dawson theorizes that, “The sheer economics of broad scale Access deployments finally became too much for them. And that most of the reasons Google got into this in the first place have either been achieved or have been demonstrated to be unrealistic.” Bruce: So what ARE those reasons? Like most of the story, we don’t know for sure and probably never will. But there’s been a lot of speculation as to why Google would enter the internet service provider game in the first place. Adam: Time magazine reporter Sam Gustin analyse the move back in 2012 when Google first announced their Fiber iniative. Bruce: Gustin concluded that Google Fiber is, quote “about serving notice to the
existing U.S. broadband community, and vividly illustrating how badly we’ve fallen behind in Internet broadband speed competitiveness.” Adam: Basically, Google invented their own high speed low cost service to drive other service providers out of complacency. Bruce: Whhhyyyyyy? Because Google is an internet company and they need a fast infrastructure to provide a good service. Lawrence, is that true? Lawrence: What, sure of course?! You’re not likely to use Google search, Gmail, Docs or any other Google product if its running on shit ass Time Warner internet.
Bruce: (laughs) It’s true! Lawrence: Yeah! Gives you a bad consumer experience. And then you associate that with the company and then you don’t wanna use their products. So yeah, it seems like a drastic corporate play to tear up sidewalks and streets in major American cities, just to pressure companies into letting you download porn faster, but that’s what happens when mega corps get into money fights. They can tear up major cities just for the sake of making the internet a little faster. And it actually may have worked! Adam: This is all anecdotal but at least in Los Angeles, internet speeds have noticeably
jumped up in the last 2-3 years. Adam: Today, Spectrum, formerly Time Warner cable, which is a different company from Time Warner, it’s all very complicated, offers up to 300 megabits down which is part of an upgrade program that
Time Warner Cable first announced in 2014. Bruce: I’m signing up for that. Uh, so yeah,
correlation is not causation but certainly large companies have no reason to invest in their own infrastructure unless a competitor forces them to. Adam: So even if Google Fiber isn’t in or
coming to your city, you may have them to thank for a slightly better internet experience. Bruce: Or you’re in a smaller town, no corporation gives a fuck about you. We’re sorry, we really are. But, uh, we- I’m honestly, Google didn’t give a fuck about us though, cuz we’re in Los Angeles and they cancelled Google Fiber in Los Angeles.
Adam: Yeah. Bruce: (mumbles) So they didn’t give a fuck about us.
Adam: It has gotten better here. Elon Musk is gonna put blimps up in the air to give internet to all the poor people, so-
Bruce: HERE? In Los Angeles?! Adam: Around the world, baby! Bruce: I’m kinda poor! James: Louiseville’s got fried chicken AND internet! Adam: What is it? What do they call your disability dog or whatever? Bruce: Oh, service dog.
Adam: Yeah. Lawrence: That is the worst fucking program.
Bruce: Service animals… Lawrence: “I’m sad so I have a dog.” Great, now I get to hear it bark next to me all the time. Bruce: That’s a legal loophole.
James: The same mentality gets you pot, gets you high.
Lawrence: That’s true. Lawrence: Except pot-
Bruce: In California.
Lawrence: ‘Cept pot doesn’t make me bark. And, like, scratch the wall . Bruce: It might!
James: Sometime does. It’s good.
Lawrence: I haven’t found it yet.